#14

May 18, 1954


My dear Gini -

A letter to write - as usual, a voice in the wilderness, mine.  A letter to have been written - yours (as you promised); you didn't. Or if you did, you tore it away.  A little hunch I know of it more or less.  Had you done it and mailed it, it would have freed you from all unjustifiable complexes and inhibitions - maybe. I am very sorry for the both of us.

Little things can still be made milestones for some lifetimes.  Half a lifetime I have wasted waiting.  I can waste the other half away - still waiting.  I can afford it for my heart is full of you.  Sweetheart, come down to earth so that we can make a heaven of it.

I am writing you just after I called you.  I have to or go mad.  Yes, tonight is one of the crucial times I have had.  Thank God I still have my senses. I still think loving is better than dying - at least for now and anyway the end is coming for everyone.


Lovingly,
Gomer