Lenten Zen - Week 1

      Winter brings with it an invitation for contemplation,  what with the frigid temperatures and sometimes hostile driving conditions that makes one retreat to the inner sanctuary of the mind. To scheme and dream, at times to the extreme. Like coming up with the unthinkable resolve to give up for Lent that which brings one pleasure. Whatever that may be. Chocolate? Poetry? Facebook? Oh yeahhh... why not? I decided to give up this social networking addiction not just as  part of a religious practice of self-denial but as a crisis intervention for something that was becoming a full time endeavor.  Just the thought of not being online was enough to give me palpitations. All the more reason to challenge myself, I said. And so I did. Cold turkey. Frozen is more like it.

     For those non-Catholics stumbling into this blog, did I mention this practice in self-denial is supposed to mirror the temptations Jesus faced in the forty days he was alone in the dessert? Yes, forty days. Except when I actuallly counted the days until  Easter it is more like 6 weeks! Not even sure I would last 24 hours. It feels like an eternity. On second thought, eternity is probably like a quick errand compared to what I felt. And what have I learned so far? I can run, but I can't hide. I may be able to physically stay away from Facebook but  thoughts of what I turned my back on, though only temporary, invade my mind, no less intrusive than being actually online. But I'm trying, really trying hard. As in substituting urges to log-in with deep cleansing breaths until I am dizzy as only one can be after so many breaths. And it's only been a week.

     Working out, yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, I find solace in these practices that brings clarity to my day. Books and poetry are always good company and even doing the laundry keeps me sane. The bathroom ought to be spotless next week!

February Zen

     I cannot let this month go by without addressing love in all its myriad  forms. The love of a parent for her child, the love between husbands and wives, sisters, brothers, lovers, friends. Even one that  dares to defy definition. Someone said by defining a relationship one limits its potential. Potential to help one evolve to a being of heightened consciousness. Assuming of course its potential is  first defined by  moral boundaries we set for ourselves. You ever notice the first four letters of the word evolve spells "love" backwards?

     My 7 year-old , wise one that he is, once told me we have two hearts... "one to keep us alive and another to hold the love."  The following day he added a third heart, he said "it's for the evil things we do... but it's a small one Mommy... and it keeps getting smaller the more we do good and love more."  We should listen to our children more is what I say. Through them God's love speaks to us.

      I am always amazed by unconditional love as I  experience it. A child's love is all-forgiving, bears no grudges and forgets in a heartbeat. A spouse's love is always there, in good times and in bad. A sister's love grows with you through the years. A parent's love you never outgrow and even when you think you have... it stays. And a friend? It's there when you need it and it's there when you don't.Why do some relationships take ages to cement and still  crack in places and others just gel in no time, jiggling along the bumps?

     Why ask why? Life will give us the experience we need to evolve in our here and  now. Just take it. And live it. With gratitude. For only in gratitude do we find happiness.

Faith. Hope. Love. And the greatest of these is love.

Sisters We - The Power of Three

     Last November, I flew out to Newport Beach in California to spend a few days with my two sisters who celebrate their birthdays on that same month. This was the first time we have ever gotten together without husbands, without kids. Except for a day at the spa, we had no other agenda but to bond and reconnect. This was accomplished right away when we decided to share the same  king-sized bed the first night.  At first, I called home to check on everybody but when I realized there was not much I could do for misplaced belts and missed  homeworks, I let my hubby run the show back in Indiana while I starred in my own this side of the continent.

     We had breakfast overlooking the beach the following day.  I'm not used to eating my meal and sipping my coffee at a leisurely pace, in anticipation of the day that lay ahead like an unpainted canvas to do as I will, to create and paint as I want. For the next three hours we walked along the shoreline, collected beach stones smoothed by time and  water, wishing our faces would age the same way, captured our moments in pictures, reminisced and compared notes on how, in our own way, we felt loved by parents who had seven kids and worked full time in a Third World country. I've come to the realize that God gave me not just one but two sisters because my Mom had enough in her hands with seven children. Waves slapped rhythmically against the sand, trying to hold on but eventually giving up and returning to the ocean. Off season for vacationing folks, we had the beach all to ourselves, seagulls  and other birds even ignoring our presence, breathing air rich with the embrace of the  sea, sand and sun. Barefoot where the water meets the sand, there is nothing like standing next to the ocean to remind me that I am just part of something bigger, connected to a larger whole.

    Then came spa day. This place was Disneyland for mamas and papas, lovers and friends, girlfriends and sisters.  Mud baths, mineral baths, aloe vera body paint, steam room, more hot tubs, warm sun, quiet corners to  get a nibble of solitude,  and of course, more sister time. At the end of a full day spent in pampering myself I actually momentarily forgot I had a husband and kids. The day was so  indescribably relaxing  we stopped by a Walgreen chain to pick up some treats. But we won't get into that here. Wink, wink. The pomegranate Martini topped off the day like icing on a cake. Indulging myself on Facebook to my heart's content was the cherry on top of the icing on the cake.

      We literally had the resort to ourselves. A dip in the pool I had  all to myself and my sister soaking in the hot tub bubbling just for her. Not another soul in sight. Surreal was what it was.We ate what we wanted  when we wanted .  Peace, solitude, the sea, a cuppa tea, my sisters, and me.

 I couldn't ask for more to renew my soul except be grateful for the gift of two sisters.

(pic art by a kind stranger)