It is said that we know who we are or what we are in different contexts. That people construct different truths to different contexts and we enact different contexts (we are in) all the time. This truth (if that's what it truly is) has opened a box of aha moments for me at 5:30 in the morning. Is that why the "me" at work is so different from the "me" at home or the "me" with friends or the "me" with families? All this time I thought I was bipolar! I don't need therapy or medication after all - what a relief and a truth I'll take any day!Following this path, do people with multiple personalities just happen to have a lot of truths? And are people who are boring still searching for their truth? What of somebody who has not found their truth? Is that what drives someone to despair and hopelesness, loneliness too?
And somewhere in all these... is there a context where all these truths meet and are one and the same? Would that be the Real Me? Or just a meeting place of all my truths?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
First Date - February 14, 2003
I had a special date today with a special guy.
We had planned on going to the movies(of course). The day started out gloomy and rainy I almost cancelled. But I promised him. And it was our first date. We woke up together this morning and I couldn't resist helping him to get dressed. I offered to drive, surprised him by holding the car door open for him, even held the umbrella as we walked hand in hand to the theatre. I took it even further and opened doors as we walked inside, paid for tickets... even popcorn and soda for both of us. He almost didn't want to go because it was dark and hardly anybody inside. Other guys would have seen that as an opportunity. My guy found every excuse not to stay in his own seat and insisted on climbing unto my lap, grabbing whatever he could to get there, then started digging into the popcorn, candy and soda.
So we settled to enjoy the movie, and every now and then he would turn to me and give me a kiss. Most of the time he would just lean back against me and concentrate on what was going on in the screen. When the movie ended, I had to take him to the bathroom, help him with his coat and once again we walked hand in hand back to the car. I decided to take him shopping and he didn't complain like most guys would but did fall asleep and stayed asleep all the way home.
The movie was Jungle Book 2...
my guy was Jared...
and he was only 3 years old.
I couldn't have had a more perfect date for Valentine's Day!
And I can't wait to take 2 guys next time - when Kyle is old enough!
We had planned on going to the movies(of course). The day started out gloomy and rainy I almost cancelled. But I promised him. And it was our first date. We woke up together this morning and I couldn't resist helping him to get dressed. I offered to drive, surprised him by holding the car door open for him, even held the umbrella as we walked hand in hand to the theatre. I took it even further and opened doors as we walked inside, paid for tickets... even popcorn and soda for both of us. He almost didn't want to go because it was dark and hardly anybody inside. Other guys would have seen that as an opportunity. My guy found every excuse not to stay in his own seat and insisted on climbing unto my lap, grabbing whatever he could to get there, then started digging into the popcorn, candy and soda.
So we settled to enjoy the movie, and every now and then he would turn to me and give me a kiss. Most of the time he would just lean back against me and concentrate on what was going on in the screen. When the movie ended, I had to take him to the bathroom, help him with his coat and once again we walked hand in hand back to the car. I decided to take him shopping and he didn't complain like most guys would but did fall asleep and stayed asleep all the way home.
The movie was Jungle Book 2...
my guy was Jared...
and he was only 3 years old.
I couldn't have had a more perfect date for Valentine's Day!
And I can't wait to take 2 guys next time - when Kyle is old enough!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Black Friday Zen
iShop...therefore...iAm
Shopping on Black Friday can be spiritual. One learns to fast, ignore the physical demands of one's body, make new friends and learn patience while waiting in long, long lines . You learn to let go of money, appreciate nothingness when the money is gone and commune with the self that is you as one meditates along aisles of merchandise and other shoppers seemingly on a mission.
iShop(ped)...therefore... iAm(broke).
Shopping on Black Friday... it is not for the faint of hearts.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Anatomy of the Heart Accdg. to Kyle
"Did you know we have two hearts Mommy? One heart to keep us alive and the other heart to hold our love."
The way God speaks to us is the way we listen to our children.
Nov. 29... Kyle adds "There is a third heart Mommy... for the evil things we do. But its a small one and gets smaller the more we do good and love."
The way God speaks to us is the way we listen to our children.
Nov. 29... Kyle adds "There is a third heart Mommy... for the evil things we do. But its a small one and gets smaller the more we do good and love."
Monday, November 23, 2009
Perspectives
I was packing something for mailing the other day, using those styrofoam peanuts to pad the box. Kyle (7 y.o.) comes in and sits on the floor with me, asking,"What are you doing Mommy?"
I said,"Oh , I'm packing this to send to a friend." Then he continues, inquisitive this child is, "Mommy, what's that?" pointing to the styrofoam peanuts. I answered, "Oh, that's styrofoam peanuts to pad the box so it doesn't break what's inside." Then he picks one up, examines it closely then brings it down between his legs as if comparing the size of the styrofoam peanut to his, well... you know. He is dressed fortunately. Then he said, after a short pause... "Well, it is about the same size." I break into a slow smile. I have taught my boys the proper names for body parts but for some reason they refuse to call this one by its proper name, preferring to call it "peanut". In comes Jared (9 y.o.) and Kyle calls out, "Hey Jared, check out this peanuts!" Jared looks at Kyle, looks at me with eyes wide open and runs out of the room, screaming, "Peanuts... I'm allergic to peanuts!" He is... severely.
I said,"Oh , I'm packing this to send to a friend." Then he continues, inquisitive this child is, "Mommy, what's that?" pointing to the styrofoam peanuts. I answered, "Oh, that's styrofoam peanuts to pad the box so it doesn't break what's inside." Then he picks one up, examines it closely then brings it down between his legs as if comparing the size of the styrofoam peanut to his, well... you know. He is dressed fortunately. Then he said, after a short pause... "Well, it is about the same size." I break into a slow smile. I have taught my boys the proper names for body parts but for some reason they refuse to call this one by its proper name, preferring to call it "peanut". In comes Jared (9 y.o.) and Kyle calls out, "Hey Jared, check out this peanuts!" Jared looks at Kyle, looks at me with eyes wide open and runs out of the room, screaming, "Peanuts... I'm allergic to peanuts!" He is... severely.
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